NEW (and desired): MAC Punk Couture - OUT NOW

MAC Punk Couture - Dec 2013

Just letting you gals and guys know that the first Mac release that has got my knickers in a twist has dropped online yesterday, so, like all the limited Mac collections, you'd better get there quick. 

There are lipglosses, nail varnish, and an eyeshadow palette, but they don't really compare to these offerings, which are stunning, especially the lips! Vampy x 10000!

You can purchase these online at Mac right now... I wish I could, but too poor right now. Perhaps Mac will donate them if I cry LOTS.

Here's hoping! 

YOU'D BETTER WERK!

So i'm a a total rotten mess of unhappiness, but there's one thing that should hopefully bring a smile to any human beings face coming imminently. RuPauls Drag Race. If you're not familiar with the show, it features the 'original supermodel of the world' RuPaul, hosting a competition to find americas next drag superstar. There has already been five incredible seasons, and there's going to be a sixth. You can find it currently on Netflix if you want to catch up, and I suggest you do. The make up, the dresses, the lip sync's, it's just ELECTRIC. RuPaul is the most beautiful woman that never was. 

Here's some clips of our favourite drag queen from the last season, the wonderful Jinx Monsoon. 

I recommend you dive in. I mean, I think i've smiled three times in the last six months, and two of those times was watching RuPaul.

NEW (and desired) LIME CRIME Pink Velvet UK pre order now LIVE!

Genie cosmetics have a pre order NOW. If you want to get your hands on Pink Velvet from the UK, this, currently, is your only option. Be quick though, if it's anything like the crazy that happened when Red Velvet was released, it'll be sold out for a long time.

So there you go. A short sweet heads up for my homies. 

NEW (and desired): L'Oreal Mega Volume Miss Manga Mascara

I know literally less than NOTHING about this release, other than it's coming out next year, and its name piqued my interest x10000. I love manga-esque make up, I love massive doll eyes, pink cheeks and looking like a cartoon, so it looks like L'Oreal have caught up with my brain. Huzzah.

All I have about this mascara is this INSANE promo video. Since when were the words 'fucked up' okay in mascara adverts?

Odd. But kind of awesome.

REVIEW: Rimmel EXAGGERATE undercover shadow primer

Rimmel Exaggerate Undercover Shadow Primer

I'm not messing about with this one. BAM. BANG. INFO AND DID!

What do they say about it?

Rimmel introduces Exaggerate Under-cover, our first primer base that will reinvent your eye shadow!

The lightweight silicone formula preps and smoothes lids: say goodbye to lines & wrinkles! Then get ready to maximise your shadow intensity, all day long!

What does it do?

FUCK ALL.

Seriously. The only thing it does is slightly intensify my eyeshadow and prolongs wear a tiny amount. I have oily lids, and I can't afford to replace my NARS Pro Smudge Proof Primer which I use on my mega oily lids daily. I needed a good replacement and when I saw the words 'all day long' I was sold. It doesn't do anything all day except let your eyeshadow crease, and if anything, my lids were MORE greasy. What an achievement!

So thanks Rimmel, but no thanks. I'll just have to save my pennies for quality.

If you do want to bother, it's £4.99 from Boots and Superdrug 

QUICKIE REVIEW: Bumble and Bumble Spray Chalk

Bumble and Bumble Spray Chalk in Blush Pink

So, on my recent travels I tried out the Bumble and Bumble Spray Chalk in Blush Pink. My hair, if you haven't read before, is turquoise and darker blue, and pretty bright. I thought it might be nice to try some pink accents for a little change, so chose the Blush Pink colour, in the hope i'd look a bit like a living doll. 

It's difficult to review this positively from my point of view, but it's not a failure of a product, it's just not for me. You see, it's basically a hairspray, with holding power, that gives colour as well, so if you want to create a big quiff and hold it up with a flash of colour, this is your best friend. However, if you want to just colour the ends, which lots of girls want to these days, this is where your problems are going to start.

First issue I have, is it goes EVERYWHERE. It flakes off, getting on your clothes, which is annoying. Secondly, it makes your hair hard, and knotty, and dry. It's bound to because it's basically a hairspray, but it was really tough to brush out, and my hair felt disgusting afterwards. I wasn't a fan.

Personally, I would recommend this for a fashion forward up do, where you'd be using spray to style anyway, but if you just want your locks to fly free, this is definitely not an option.

If you do want to get involved though, you can get this for a rather pricey £15 from Bumble and Bumble online

REVIEW: Bleach London Washed Up Mermaid Hair Dye (Super Cool Colour) and rambling about Kurt Cobain

Bleach London Super Cool Colour in Washed Up Mermaid

So, I gave a heads up, and a rambling opinion about this brand Bleach London a few weeks back, and to be true to my blogging ways, I decided to buy one of the so called, super cool colours, to give them a go. Now, I would put up pictures of how using this dye turned out, but sadly, it washed out before I got round to it, but I will say that the above example is pretty much the exact colour you will get on a very pale bleached head of hair. 

The colours available from Bleach London are very limited, but they're on trend, with names referencing current trends, like Bruise Violet, which references one of my favourite bands from when I was a young teen, in 92, Babes in Toyland, imparticular their song Bruise Violet, seen below

Babes In Toyland - Bruise Violet (92)

First let me have a ramble, I met Babes in Toyland, namely Kat, a few times when I was 12/13, she was massively messed up but obviously really cool. It kind of irritates me that loads of kids love this band now, just because they weren't massive then by any stretch of the imagination, and suddenly they're being ripped off wholesale by so many bands now, and girls who have NO belief in what these Riot Grrrl bands stood for, it's just a fashion thing. Dickheads. Appropriating a culture to sell hair dye is  bit weird too....but then again, Marc Jacobs appropriated the grunge thing in 92, and somehow found a way to sell raggedy plaid shirts and ripped jeans and army surplus boots for hundreds of dollars. Appropriation gets right on my tits.

And on ANOTHER rant, I bought Company High Street Edit this week, and in the center pages covered kids that dress like their famous parents. Anyway, on this page they had photoshopped Frances Bean Cobain, linking arms with her father Kurt Cobain. You know? The man that SHOT HIMSELF IN THE FUCKING HEAD WHEN SHE WAS A BABY? Now, call me reactionary, but isn't that a little bit, no, VERY INAPPROPRIATE???

Frances Bean and her father, together, er, at last...

Also, i'd like to point out to the dickheads that write that magazine, that 'Papa's playlist' is massively WRONG. Soundgarden weren't liked by the cool kids, certainly not Kurt, Doll Parts was on the album that although he was alive when it was written, he was dead by the time it came out (I saw Hole play a couple of months after Kurt took his life, it was a horrid, attention seeking, disgustingly wrong mess) and er, he probably wasn't listening to In Bloom, off an album he came to despise. I won't sound like a total Nirvana geek, although I do know the bands he talked about loving in the press, often to Everett True, but remembering the day Kurt took his life, I was at a guitar lesson (I gave up quickly, I am bad at learning) and my best mate called me and said 'don't kill yourself, I don't know if I can remain strong' and I was like 'er, I loved the band, but I didn't know the guy!'. I had bought tickets to see them at Brixton academy (yes, they weren't massive enough to play bigger venues i'm afraid) and I went and got a refund and used the money to go and see PWEI instead. Nothing was precious! I'd actually got sick of the Nirvana fanboys and had given away all my albums that I had on cassette to kids in the year below, including the really rare stuff like the double A side with Jesus Lizard. 

Shit. I'm meant to be reviewing the dye aren't I?

Basically, the dye is easy to use, its thicker than your average Crazy Colour, or Manic Panic, so you can chuck it on your hair with your hands and it won't run all over your neck. The colour is basically the colour you see in the example above, spot on, but it washes out REALLY quickly. It's an on trend colour, it works well, it is conditioning, and it's not TOO pricey, but frankly, I would rather use a dye from a well worn company who have been doing these colours for years, mix it with a conditioner or pastelizer, I mean, Crazy Colour do one for less than a fiver, and you then save tons of money in the long term, because you just need a drop of strong colour, mixed with your chosen mixer, and it'll probably last the same amount of time! What Bleach do is take the work out of it for you, if you want a surefire colour result thats easy to use and washes out pretty quickly, then give it a go. 

I'll update with a picture of the result when I've faded my bubblegum blue by Crazy Colour. 

You can pick up Washed Up Mermaid by Bleach for a fiver at selected Boots. 

REVIEW: Nivea In Shower Body Moisturiser - DRY SKIN

Nivea In Shower Body Moisturiser

I am lazy. Really really lazy. SO lazy in fact, that until finding the wonder of spray moisturisers and oils, I just didn't bother, and suffered with itchy flakey miserable legs. I also can't bear rubbing anything into myself, since I gained weight it's just NOT a lovely feeling, seeing a reverberation that lasts way after you stopped rubbing. Woe is me.

Anyway, I saw this in Superdrug recently and saw that is was virtually zero effort. Get in the shower, wash, rub this all over yourself, rinse, and your skin will be soft, supple, and glowy. How can you complain at that? Not having to get dressed over clammy creamy skin that takes ages to soak in, it's invaluable to me, because I live in a state of almost constant lateness, so I need to do stuff quick as possible, and this, this helps A LOT. 

There's not much more to say, it gives you a super boost of moisture, does exactly what it says it'll do, and I can't find anything bad about it, except you can't use it in the bath. 

You can purchase this at Superdrug and other chemists for £5.09

REVIEW: MUA Luxe Velvet Lip Lacquer in Reckless vs Topshop Velvet Lips in Velveteen Ribbon

MUA Luxe Velvet Lip Lacquer in Reckless

Now. Let me tell you something about me (because that's obviously why you're here), I am an obsessive creature. When I find something that I want, I will obsess and obsess till I get it. Not a lot of things actually meet the needs I have to become obsessed with them. However, when I heard that MUA were launching a more upscale line of products, I was intrigued. When I heard that they were releasing some long wearing, matte, liquid lipsticks that were like Lime Crime Velveteens. I WAS RAVENOUS.

I put the date on my calender of their release. Went to Superdrug to pick them up and....nothing. They weren't there. I logged on to the website. All sold out. I went to the superdrug website. Not there. So I contacted MUA and asked where I could get hold of them. They told me central london. So I went to central london. Every BLOODY STORE. NOT SODDING THERE.

Anyway, one colour came back into stock last week on the superdrug website, which I was directed to by a very kind reader of my blog, and I arranged for speedy delivery, and finally got my hands on my matte dreams! 

However, when waiting to find the elusive product, I dropped into topshop and they had their new Velvet Lips on the display, and the shade seemed to be a lovely vampy rich matte red, so, why not I thought!? 

TOPSHOP Velvet Lips in Velveteen Ribbon

So lets look at a swatch etc...

L-R MUA Reckless and TOPSHOP Veleveteen Ribbon

So as you can see, the MUA shade is a much pinker red, whereas the topshop is darker and more vampy. Both are sumptuous and give completely opaque pigment heavy colour in one swipe. They both dry down super true matte, and they both look awesome.

So where are they different?

Well price for one. MUA is £3, a true bargain, whereas TOPSHOP is £10 in comparison. 

Also in wear time. The MUA one lasts big time, through eating, drinking, kissing cheeks. It lasts mofo! However, it will start to wear after a few hours towards the center of your lips. Also, if you decided to eat anything oily it'll come right off, I discovered this after a cheeky mcdonalds trip after a rather messy all nighter at a mates birthday party. The topshop one wore off after about two hours. Seriously, TWO. It flaked off and crumbled mega quickly and it was pretty annoying seeing as it costs over three times the price! 

So if you were trying to choose between the two, I would go for the MUA every time.

However, the direct comparison, and obvious one, is the Lime Crime Velveteen, and I would say MUA isn't quite as good, but pretty close, and for the price difference, I would definitely invest in this first.

I should be getting hold of the rest of the shades this week, and i'll go crazy with a swatch party for your lovely precious eyes as soon as I do. I AM EXCITED! 

GO BUY THE LIPS!

HERE

Lime Crime - Pink Velvet release date

Lime Crime - Pink Velvetine

Finally, there is a release date for the BEST LOOKING LIPSTICK EVER.

It is November 29th. In america. UK release still not announced BUT, keep your eyes on the facebook HERE for that.

I CANNOT WAIT.

NEW (and desired): L'Oreal Professional Hair Chalk

GIRLS! I HAVE A HARD ON FOR HAIR CHALK!!! I am mega serious. I WANT THIS AND I WANT IT NOWWW!!!

I may have mentioned before, I have blue hair. Starts off dark blue at the root and goes through to a turquoise shade at the bottom. I'm sorry to offend the many ladies of the uk but I'm a dip dye hater. Specifically the natural blonde with the pink or whatever colour ends. It looks rank. Colour is there to be enjoyed, putting two colours together that don't compliment just feels like a waste.

Enough of my prejudices though. ON TO THE PRODUCTS!

This is what the heroes at L'Oreal have to say.

"Right now, brightly-coloured hair is bang on trend. From the editorial take on the catwalk to the super wearable street-style hairstyles, we’ve been seeing coloured ombré everywhere. The NEW Hairchalk range from L’Oréal Professionnel is our perfect product to achieve the look. With five flashy colours and three sophisticated shades, you can achieve a great multi-coloured mix of  hairstyles either at home or in your salon."

Now, I have never used the traditional hair chalks you'll find in the high street stores. They're not strong enough to do anything to the colour I already have all over my head, and generally if I want a colour in my hair I just do it. I've gone from luminous orange to pink, to purple and pink, to blue and pink and now turquoise in the last year. I love colour. I don't feel like me if i'm not peacock like about the hair.

So what's so amazing and got me so excited about these hair chalks?

There's an example below....

Do you see? The nice lady has DARK brown hair, and they've applied the chalk (which is actually a liquid) and it has completely covered her dark hair colour!!! Not only this, but the hair isn't a nasty clogged up mess that will transfer everywhere and go all hard and stiff. It moves! It's free like the wind!

Look! You can paint BLONDE over DARK BROWN!? Do you see now how amazing the possibilities of this product are!? Sorry for all the punctuation crazy but seriously, this is amazing. You can go mental on your hair without having to bleach it, or use straighteners to boil it into your hair and damage it horribly. You can paint on colour and do whatever the hell you like.

The colours available will be...

First Date Violet, Sweet Sixteen Pink, Blue Ocean Cruise, Coffee Break, Red Carpet, Black Tie, Garden Party and Bronze Beach.

Personally i'm going to go bare crazy with Garden Party like below...

STUNNING.

So. How do you use these cheeky tarts?

The L'Oreal Hairchalk and Applicator gives hair a temporary yet fantastic hair transformation. The paint on colour, in garden party, works on both light and dark hair and applies easily with the built in applicator. Colour will last for up to two washes and is stain resistant. The highly pigmented liquid gives a natural look and dries quickly once applied. - R.K.

Directions for Use:

• Use the applicator to apply the chalk to the desired sections of hair
• Allow to dry
• The colour washes out in two washes

ARE YOU KIDDING? So basically I can paint this on, with given tool, it dries quickly and is STAIN RESISTANT?

I swear, if you knew my ex girlfriend, and what she looked like (even more peacock like than I) I'd have had a field day painting this all over her head, with the added bonus of not burning her scalp with bleach because of constant changes (she went from purple to yellow in one sitting, it was painful).

The best news? You can buy it NOW NOW NOW BABY!

It's available at Look Fantastic for a mere £15 a bottle (spensive but so essential) and as soon as I have some money, i'm going to be going paintbrush crazy with this shit. Trust.

REVIEW: Batiste Smoothing and Conditioning Mist

"Goodbye brittle mop, hello Silky locks - A few spritz of this superlight dry feel, invisible conditioning spray infused with Argan Oil, is perfect for the days when you are fighting the frizz or dry ends are driving you dotty. A quick spritz into the mid lengths & ends nourishes, smoothes fly-aways and helps retain moisture in dry unmanageable hair giving you shiny, great looking hair every day."

I purchased this in a rush of desperation at a train station. Since having extensions, my already frazzled locks need extra conditioning, otherwise my real hair, which is a woeful mess, and the fake hair, look very obviously different. Also, extensions are dead hair, so they need lots of oily love, or they look frazzled, matted and disgusting very quickly.

This product, unlike most leave in conditioners, isn't 'wet', it's dry, a dry oil, that you spray on dry hair between washes. It's important not to make the mistake of thinking it's for the same thing as regular Batiste, it'll not make your roots less greasy. Saying tht though, it doesn't make you greasy, just shiny, and soft, and easy to brush, and OH MY, I AM IN LOVE.

TOTES.

It really is great, I love it, as it's not wet, it doesn't affect your 'do' in any way, just gets it smelling fresh, looking shiny, and smooth! It stops the in between wash frazzles. I haven't anything bad to say about this lad. Dive in I say, DIVE IN. 

This is currently on offer for the super bargainous price of £2.99 from Boots. GO GET!

NEW (and desired) - Bumble and Bumble Spray Chalk

Bumble and Bumble Spray Chalk in Lavender

Just a quickie to let you know that the winners at Bumble and Bumble, the brilliant but vastly pricey hair brand, have released a spray paint colour spray in limited edition quantities and it's available NOW.  It comes in shades Lavender, Blush, Cobalt and Mint, and if I wasn't broke, i'd be all over it like a mofo. I am skint though. However, if you have £15 to spare, you can pick it up at boots or direct from Bumble and Bumble.

Awesome.

REVIEW: Aussie Miracle Hair Insurance Leave in Conditioner

Aussie Miracle Hair Insurance

As I have mentioned before, my hair is bright blue, and to achieve this, I have to bleach it up from a dark brown, which in turn, has caused massive breakage. On top of this, the lovely people at South Kensington Toni and Guy gave me a full head of extensions for free, so now, for the first time ever, my hair is shoulder length and blue. It rules! Due to the upkeep necessary for keeping extensions healthy, i've been told to invest in a leave in conditioner. Being pretty poor right now, money wise, I couldn't do  my usual running to Keratase for some fancy potions, so I popped to Superdrug with a fiver and hoped for the best.

I found this!

So, no messing about. What does it do for me?

Well, I wash and condition my hair, and right afterwards I spray it over the entire length to assist with detangling, as well as making it smell absolutely lovely. It gives it a nice sheen, and I definitely am seeing results regarding the epic dryness of my natural hair. 

In between washes, I spray this on every morning and comb in through, and it actually stops me always needing to use my straighteners, because it tames frizz and flyaways, yet doesn't flatten or make it look greasy or mucky. 

My hair feels soft, smooth and smells great! 

I recommend this very much! I purchased it from Superdrug for £4.49

Breaking Beauty Rules: Concealer application for flawless joy

Hi there.

Sorry for my recent silence. Heartbreak has been getting the better of me again, but the best way to get over that is jumping back on the rambling about cosmetics horse. So here I am.

This is a post that I hope will be of some interest to people. Now, my skin, it's not the worst skin on gods earth, but I really don't like my face at all. This probably has something to do with my endless pouring over fashion magazines where all the girls have skin like pink velvet and eyes that gleam like sunshine. I have mentioned before I am extremely pale, but I have uneven skintone, large pores, and areas of redness that rage through foundation and it's IRRITATING.

So, what's this post about? Well, generally you always hear the rule with base application, that you apply foundation, then apply concealer. Fair enough, makes sense. However, after many years of experimentation with various products and finishes, I have discovered that sometimes, the reverse is true.

Firstly, after my serum and moisturiser, I always, ALWAYS prime. Some people don't see the point in primer, but I can tell you first hand, there have been three occasions i've forgotten primer on my face, and I regretted it BIG time. My make up slid around my face, it was horrendous, I felt sad. BAM. Lesson learned. This below product is my hero in every way...

Mac Natural Radiance Primer - £29.00

It controls oil, evens skintone, gives a slight radiance, and keeps your foundation on. I have many many primers, including the Smashbox one, which was a disaster for me. I'll do a mega primer review post soon. You'll be disgusted at how many I own.

After my primer, I let it sink in for a minute, and then I grab my Mac Pro Longwear Concealer (£15.50) and a flat topped concealer or foundation brush, and buff it under my eyes, around my nose, along my jawline, and any other red areas. It applies in a very thin layer, sticks like glue and is virtually undetectable. 

Mac Pro Longwear Concealer (£15.50)

After this, I put a TINY amount of foundation onto the back of my hand and buff it into the skin with a Real Techniques Buffing Foundation Brush, and voila! Flawless skin that lasts all day! 

Stila Stay All Day Foundation (£29.50)

Hope this was helpful to some. Honestly, I used to end up building and building foundation, but if you find a high coverage, long lasting concealer, you can use much less product and look ten times better! WINNER!

REVIEW: Real Techniques Miracle Complexion Sponge

When I heard that Real Techniques (as in, Sam from Pixiwoo, a big ladycrush of mine) were releasing a sponge, I knew it was going to be a winner. What I didn't reckon on was how bargainous it was going to be, and HOW RUDDY GOOD.

Real Techniques Miracle Complexion Sponge

I shall make no bones about this. I LOVE THIS GUY. Now, since i'm a bit of a heartbroken mess, I am prone to extreme mood swings, but extreme enthusiasm isn't one of those emotions, sadly. However, this sponge, it has got an ounce of positivity out of me, and frankly, thats big news.

What's the corporate blurb then?

"Apply your foundation flawlessly with the Real Techniques Miracle Complexion Sponge. With rounded sides to blend and smooth foundation over large areas of your face, it also features a flat edge to glide around the contours of your eyes and nose. Finished with a precision tip that's ideal for covering spots and blemishes, this easy-to-use sponge will give you the perfect airbrushed effect"

So, why is this fellaguy good? Lets go list crazy!

He's cheap

He's multifaceted. You can use the flat side for application, the rounded for cream blush and highlighter, the pointed end for concealer, and the rounded side for powder. One for ALL!

He's easy to clean, just pop him under the tap with some shampoo. Done!

He gives a super airbrushed finish

He's FOOLPROOF

So how do you, or I, use this?

Easy. I dampen it under a warm tap, squeeze out the excess water, dot foundation over my face, use the flat side to distribute foundation around my face in a wiping motion. For areas I need more coverage, I use a dabbing motion. Then I apply concealer to areas that need even more coverage, and use the flat edge to apply around the eyes and nose area. Then I apply dots to areas where I have blemishes, and use the pointed end to gently blend the edges for undetectable full coverage. I then use one of the rounded sides to dab into my creme blush, say, Mac Posey, a personal fave, and dab it onto my cheeks. I then apply NARS illuminator in copacabana with the same area of sponge to the high points of my face, and finally, dab the other side of the sponge in my loose powder, apply in a rolling motions all over my make up, and i'm DONE! 

It's THAT easy. 

I can't say ANYTHING negative about this product. It's quarter of the price of a beauty blender, and a better product, so....BUY IT!

You can purchase this at Boots or HQ Hair for the bargain price of £4.99

REVIEW: Swarzkopf Got2b Oil-liscious Tame and Shine Styling Oil

Continuing on the hair theme, i'm chucking this review out too. My ends are BEYOND dry. I have spent so many years bleaching, colouring, stripping, and straightening my hair, without properly conditioning, because of the desire for volume, that my hair is broken to hell, and beyond a mess. When I got these extensions courtesy of the lovely guys at South Kensington Toni and Guy in London, I was told that extension hair needs constant nutrition to stop it becoming a ratty matted mess of gunk.

Full disclosure, I am poor right now, really poor, I haven't even got enough to have my daily subway sandwich. Thats what happens when you get your heart stamped on sadly, you lose your work and you end up a rotten mess rambling about hair oil. 

Sorry....back to the review....

So a year or so ago, I would have treated myself to Kerastase Ultime Elixir, which is AMAZING, and I can't knock it, regardless of it's stupid price. However, I don't have any money so I can't really be buying hair oil for thirty plus quids. So to superdrug I went and searched for the cheapest hair saviour I could find...

This is what it says. 

"Got2b Oil-licious tame & shine styling oil is enriched with Argan oil and designed for everyday use. Say goodbye to frizzy, flyaway hair and hello to sleek, glossy styles, without leaving residue on the hands."

And thats what it does. I put two pumps through my damp hair and blow dry, and I get a much sleeker frizz free finish. Once i've finished, I pop another pump in my palm, and smooth it on the ends and over the myriad of flyaways I have from my very broken bleached hair, and it gives me SHINE (my hair hasn't shone in two years), it looks nourished, and it smells nice.

What more do you want?

You can get this from Superdrug for £4.05, it's a bargain, it'll last you ages and it's works hard for you! Yay! 

REVIEW: Head and Shoulders Extra Strengthening Tonic Thick & Strong.

Head and Shoulders?! The child in me has always been totally turned off ever having ANYTHING from Head and Shoulders, because all it screams is DANDRUFF. However, when I saw a little box nestling on the H&S display in Superdrug, I was intrigued. 

So what enticed me to buy this? Well, there's eff all about it on the internets, but basically there are two tonics, one is called Extra Strengthening Thick and Strong, and Extra Thickening Thick and Strong. So, basically, you look at the box blurb, and they say exactly the same thing on the back. They're are leave in treatments, that you can use on wet OR dry hair, and they thicken every strand of hair, whilst also improving strength and preventing breakage by conditioning and moisturising your scalp, whilst poofing up your barnet. 

I didn't really know whether I needed it or not, but since i've had extensions (don't label me Katie Price, it's a full head of blue messy hair because my hair is so weak and pathetic it doesn't get past chin length) I have no idea how to get volume in it at all, so the top, which has no extensions in it, sits flat and makes my chubby face look rounder. NO THANKS.

So in comes this tonic to save the day, and it REALLY DOES HELP. Now, I cannot vouch for the strength it imparts quite yet, but I do know that the moment it hits my hair, I get a very obvious boost of volume. Now, if I was using my usual volumising regime, I think you could get some real massive volume out of it. The fact that it's helping my very broken hair is frankly a cheeky bonus. My hair is so desperately damaged on my crown area that parts are barely two inches long, so I can do with the help!

So if you're interested in a results before your eyes volumiser that also treats your hair and scalp, I say give this a go! It's a lot cheaper than Kerastase Initialiste, so if it works, you've saved yourself a load of quids. Also, it smells like sunshine!

Available from Boots online and in superdrug stores for £9.99.

NEW: Bleach London hair dye - Exclusive to Boots.

Bleach London are clever sods. They really really are. The whole concept is basically the same as a salon that existed in High Street Kensington Market in the early nineties. They've jumped on the early nineties trend (which having been there the first time, I still don't really get), taken the name of a massively successful album from Nirvana, to reference that they're, in fact, a populist appropriation of alternative culture, and thus, they're LOADED.

I have had brightly coloured hair since about 94, but it's made a real constant resurgence on my head for the past seven years, going from blue, to orange, to pink, to lavender, and then back to bright blue green right now. I remember going along to Bleach to ask about a price to get a pink through to orange fade, about three or so years ago. The price they quoted was INSANE, and they were using Crazy Colour, which I felt miffed about paying that price for, because its longevity is the worst of all the bright dyes out there. Manic Panic, great, Special Effects, even better. I'd rather ruddy Directions frankly! 

So given their massive success, and they do some fantastic work, don't get me wrong, they've decided to launch their own brand of brightly coloured dyes, bleaches, and clarifying products. It's a long unfilled gap in the market, which i'm still confused by, given the market for bright hair being a continual thing over the past thirty or so years.

Anyway, this is what Boots say....

"Young British hair brand BLEACH, creators of the biggest hair colour trends of the last three years; silver sheens, sea-punk, recession roots, dip-dyes and rainbow hues, will be launching shiny new kaleidoscopic home hair colour in October 2013.

The gang behind BLEACH are hair COLOUR and STYLING specialists whose expertise has been channelled into an at-home hair colourant and care product range launching exclusively at Boots. With bleach, toner, 12 super cool colours and a selection of aftercare."

I'm particularly intrigued by the colour fader, i'd be interested to know whether it's just a clarifier or a bleach bath or what. It's a welcome addition to the shelves though! 

These will be released on October 8th 2013 in selected Boots stores exclusively! Exciting!

Purchases that i've not shared.

I haven't told you all the stuff i've picked up at my local drugstores. Mostly because I was a raving loon of epic proportions. I have a habit though. If i'm sad, I buy stuff. That stuff, because I haven't much money, is make up stuff. Thus I can test everything first, and save you the bother. I'm a completist and obsessive. More luck when it comes to a comprehensive covering of all new releases.

Anyways, reviews that will be coming up of stuff will include....

Gosh CC Cream in Porcelain

HEY PALE LADIESSS!!! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding etc. This stuff is PALE and NEUTRAL. I haven't tested it properly yet but MA GAWD it's a pale friend. I have the BB cream, which is super pale too, but this promises luminous coverage, so, y'know, promise me luminosity and I am ANYONES. 

Well. No, but yeah, make me shine y'all! 

Shu Uemura The Lightbulb Foundation

I LOVE THIS FOUNDATION. Again, it's pale, it actually suits my complexion. Not perfection, but pretty close. It's luminous, it covers really well, it STAYS despite being hydrating and luminous.

It's a foundation wet dream. Of sorts. Review a comin!

Real Techniques Miracle Complexion Sponge

Beauty Blender? Twenty plus quid? For one sponge that splits after three months? FUCK OFF. Sam Pixiwoo's range of beauty tools has WON with this release. It's resilient, easy to use, super effective, versatile, and CHEAP.

Sign me up. Sign me the fuck up.

Maybelline Brow Drama Sculpting Mascara

I love this. I absolutely love it. I shall explain why soon. It's not an answer to all my brow woes, because my brows are thin and pathetic, but this combined with shadow and an angle brush. It's AWESOMENESS.

Thats it for now.

AWAIT ME.

When Favourite Brands Disappoint : Dear MAC. Stop pissing me off please.

As i've mentioned before in a previous post, I have had quite a love/hate relationship with MAC over the past year or so. Having been on of my most beloved and favoured brands since I first fell in love with make up, I have obsessed about nearly every limited edition drop, every new formula, every visual, the LOT. I have poured much of my money into MAC, and therefore, now and then, just maybe, I expect a little joy back.

My recent joy was found in the Retro Matte collection release, something that was, as I mentioned in the post referenced above, was WAY overdue, just as the brow collection was. These things had been trending for a few years, so why they are releasing collections AFTER the drugstore brands is beyond me, yet chucking out 1000000 collections a year, ALL containing the carbon eyeshadow (probably) over and over. FIX UP MAC. FIX THE HELL UP. (sorry capitals, I'm still heartbroken so prone to inappropriately placed anger).

So why am I pissed off again. I went to MAC a few days back. I was feeling particularly low, had had one of those walking and crying in public sessions and I thought the shiny joy of a freshly stocked MAC counter would suffice to lift the darkness a little. Clearly I was mistaken.

I walked in, and when i'd bought the Pro Longwear liners the week before, i'd actually picked up neither of the ones that i'd previously intended, which were Trust in Redd, and Dynamo. I looked at the Retro Matte display stand, an example of which is below...

MAC Retro Matte Stand 2013

Now above is what it SHOULD have looked like. Now, bearing in mind that Clapham MAC has been opened two weeks in total, you would expect it to be vaguely close to perfect. Unfortunately the lipsticks that were stocked (not their fault if they're sold out, don't get me wrong) were a mucky rancid mess, and the lipliners apart from two, weren't even pro longwear, they were just the Magenta regular wear liner, which I already own two of, although I'm totally fine with the hard sell of it, it's a nice colour, but you never need six on one display surely!?

So what the hell is my problem then? Well, I located a member of staff who'd been merrily ignoring me for a while, and I asked for the Pro Longwear liner in the shade Dynamo and Trust in Red. It wasn't a big ask really, I just wanted to be an easy customer. Get me stuff and i'll pay, y'know, not really a big issue for anyone particularly. Anyway, she asks me what colour the liners are, and I say Dynamo is bright-ish pink, and Trust in Red is, well, RED. She went back to the draws of new products, couldn't find them, so went back to the stand and picked up one of the Magenta liners and asked if it was that. 'No' I said, 'I own that, it's a regular liner, I want the longwear ones, they're great!' she looked at me like I was asking her to wipe my bottom with her face, and then said 'You can only get them in the MAC pro stores, like carnaby'. I looked confused, and i'm pretty short of tolerance right now as it is. 'Erm, no, it's not a pro release, it's a permanent release, i'm sure'. 'No' she replied, it's not, you can't get it any more, you'll have to go to a pro store'. I frowned at her again. 'NO' I reaffirmed. 'That isn't the case, despite having that stand, they are nearly ALL permanent except a couple of the lipsticks'. 

Then she really started to PISS ME OFF.

She looked at me like I was really stupid 'You can ask around, anyone will tell you the same, you're not going to get them'. She then turned around to notice another customer, turned again to another member of staff and said 'deal with her, I'll deal with this other customer'. 

And with that, she just walked off.

BRILLS!

The member of staff was much more agreeable to say the least. She asked what I needed, and I explained again, and she replied that she was visiting from Guildford store to lend a hand, and yes, the items I wanted WERE permanent, and she in fact had a ton in her store as they'd been restocked a couple of times, and they just hadn't come into Clapham yet but they should do soon, so I could either order online or just come back. She also apologised for the dickhead I had been talking to, which was nice.

So I implore you, the workers of MAC, and the employers, if you're going to deploy girls to talk to other human beings in your store, please make sure they have a basic idea of products, and if not, try not to treat customers like total MORONS, and just ASK someone who does know. It's not a good look when someone is struggling with their love for you already, and had, before this point, actually always raved about your customer service, despite the rest of the blogging world disagreeing BIG TIME. 

Phew. And thus, my rant is over. 

Twat.

HAULLLLLL!!!!!

I bought some stuff etc...

Diorskin Airflash CC Primer

It's a new primer, in a can, by Dior. It's meant to make me luminous and my make up stay on my face. I like both those ideas. Not that I go anywhere right now to ruddy test it out, but once i'm recovering from my heartbreak, i'll go sweat somewhere to test it out. Mmmm. 

L'oreal Nude Magique Eau De Teint (foundation powder)

Meant to be a great dupe for the Giorgio Armani Maestro Foundation but at a snip of the price. Unfortunately, it's WAY too dark, I can tell you that much already. The formula seems awesome though.

NARS light reflecting loose setting powder

I've had this a good long while, and used it lots. I'll tell you all about my experiences with it asap. 

Bourjois Java Rice Powder

I bought this as a cheap alternative to the NARS powder, and I like it a lot! 

Reviews coming soon of ALL....

NEW: Bourjois Happy Light Foundation, Luminous and Matte Primers (swatches)

Bourjois are one of my favourite high street brands. They really are. Their products always seem to perform in a way that competes with the higher end brands and at half the price. I have been a lover of the Healthy Mix foundation on and off for years, so when I heard that there was an even more luminous option coming out, I was thrilled!

BLURB.

Foundation - Happy Light Foundations velvety formula blends effortlessly for a luminous, undetectable and natural finish. It contains translucent pigments to enhance your inner glow and correct imperfections without masking. And, what's more, it lets skin breathe thanks to its lightweight feel and moisturising ingredients.

Sounds awesome no? Well yeah....but if you're a pale girl like I am....actually, NO. What the hell happened to their colours? I mean, 51 in Healthy Mix was always a little too yellowy and a bit dark, but what the hell, the finish was so awesome I could deal with it. When I saw there was a 50 shade, I was blown away, I counted the days till release, thinking it'd be a touch paler, and thus perfect for me. Sadly not, 50 is the most PINK shade ever. I mean, seriously, it looked like a rash on me! The 51, my usual too yellow shade, has amped up the yellow to such epic heights that with a full face, I looked like I had jaundice.

Woohoo!

However, it's not the worlds problem that I am pale and vaguely interesting, so what about the actual formula? Well it's beautiful. It's luminous, and moisturising, but not greasy. It covers really well but still lets your skin show through minus all the red bits. I really desperately wish it was pale enough for me but alas, Bourjois don't want me as part of their Happy Light gang...

Primers -

"With its melting, lightweight texture, Matte Serum Primer mattifies complexion whilst maintaining skins radiance. Wear alone or under foundation for an airbrushed look in any light. Apply before foundation or alone. One shade suits all skin tones." "For normal to dry skin, an illuminating, moisturising version. With its light-as-air texture, Happy Light luminous primer leaves the skin soft, comfortable, moisturised and replumped. The complexion is immediately illuminated! And, it’s good for skin: moisturising, non-occlusive, non-comedogenic formula" And they're great! I have oily skin, but I like to look luminous, so I bought both and went combo crazy, using the mattifying one on my oily bits and luminous one on my cheekbones and nose, and any other bits I want a glow on. I absolutely love them both. I highly recommend investing.

L-R Matte primer, luminous primer, Happy Light Foundation in shade 50

My skin is, in Mac terms, an  NW10. Can you see how damn yellow that is on my arm?? It's insane! Please Bourjois, hear my pleas, make foundation pale enough for ME!

Bourjois Happy Mix is available to buy at Boots for £11.99 or Superdrug, currently on offer, for £7.99, as well as being on a 3 for 2 offer, and the primer is on offer for £6.99, so you could get all three for super cheap! Bonza!

REVIEW: Mac Retro Matte Lipsticks - Ruby Woo, All Fired Up, Flat Out Fabulous - Swatches

Mac Retro Matte 2013

So as promised in my previous post about my achy breaky heart, I broke my reclusive ways and bound to the brand new local Mac to buy as many as I could afford, which was three, and even then it killed my bank account, and two of the pro longwear lip pencils too. It would have been churlish not to frankly!

Go on then Mac, wax me right lyrical yeah?

"M•A•C introduces new bold shades in its Retro Matte finish. Eye-catching colours like Dangerous and All Fired Up create a look that's fiercely feminine. M•A•C also premieres Pro Longwear Lip Pencils in a vibrant colour palette, giving this long-lasting and transfer-proof lip pencil an exhilarating makeover."

L-R All Fired Up, Flat Out Fabulous, Ruby Woo

Top to bottom - More to love, Kiss Me Quick

So, I really really wanted Dynamo, which is a furious pink colour, but the bastard thing was sold out everywhere, so i've made do with these two for now. 

L-R Trust in Red, More to Love - All Fire Up, Ruby Woo, Flat Out Fabulous

Firstly, the pencils.

They're great. You can't fault them. They go on matte, take about thirty seconds to set, and thats it, they're there for the duration. I AM NOT EFFING KIDDING. I put these two on my hand to swatch in the store, and for three days they stuck about, not budging an inch. You can't really complain at that level of longevity can you?

Now for the lipsticks. Well, they don't claim to be budge or smudgeproof, and they're not, which I found out to my dismay after a particularly 'lubricated' dinner, which left me with Ruby Woo all over my chin, nose and a bit under my eye (?). Thus, I would recommend you do the good old pencil, blot, powder, apply, blot, powder, apply, blot, and if you want to go bulletproof for kissing, which I don't, as I have no one I want to kiss right now (weep!) slap on a little lipcote. The formula doesn't dry me out, not that I care, but make sure you give your lips a little exfoliate, firstly by rubbing your lips with a flannel when you're cleansing, then pop on a little moisture in the form of, perhaps, Boots No7 Protect and Perfect Lip Care, then another exfoliate, if you're going hardcore, with something like Body Shop Lipscuff. Then just apply in whatever way you fancy, and go and look effing FABULOUS all day/night.

Btw, I've been reading quite a bit of bullshit about women worrying about men hating red lipstick recently, and with Ruby Woo being the ICONIC pink up red colour, I say this.

Who gives a flying cuntox?

Seriously? If you're that weak around your man or that needy for attention that you'll imagine he'll run screaming from you because you're wearing a bit of lippy, then get yourself a bit of self confidence lady, and stop worrying! I mean, I don't care what boys think obvs, and my ex LOVED my red lips (I think, given that I also was pretty sure she LOVED me and there's scant evidence of that now) but yeah, if you look hot with it, wear it.