MY BAD

Dear readers, of which, amazingly, despite my massive absence, there seem to still be many, which leaves me flattered and grateful.

I've had a bad couple of months, which have involved burying best friends, poorly relatives and being unwell myself, as well as work, i've been a hot mess, literally, minus the hot.

I have however got reviews pulsating in my brain waiting to burst out like a fountain of judgemental diamonds. Probably.

AWAIT ME MY GEMS! I SHALL BE BACK!

PERSONAL HOLY GRAIL PRODUCTS: Christian Dior DiorShow Maximizer Lash Plumping Serum

DIORSHOW MAXIMIZER LASH PLUMPING SERUM

Due to being such a crazy obsessive product addict, there are few things that I use up, and even less that I repurchase, so if I actually do get to the point that I use something up before its sell by date, or before, it's a big day in this household, and i'll sit down and eat a chocolate mousse to celebrate. 

Anyway....

This product, the Diorshow lash plumping serum, is something that I have bought nearly a dozen times since it appeared on the market. As a teenager I was always desperate for lovely lashes like my friends seemed to be naturally blessed with, and improvised with clear mascara and powdering lashes, which, although slightly helpful, didn't really cut it, and once the grunge era was over, my cloggy lashes just looked a bit shit. Sad times. Anyway, I first started using lash primer when I got a free sample of a Lancome Cils Booster and fell in love with the results, which were, predictably, boosted lashes. However, this girl wanted to go bigger and better. Size DOES matter, WHO KNEW! So I decided, when purchasing my then favourite Diorshow Blackout mascara, which really is quite something when it comes to defining lashes as blacker than night, I decided to be 'upsold' the primer too, and my GAWD I was glad I did.

From the first moment I was in lust with this white shiny guy. I layer two coats of this thick white gloop on, which not only is filled with small fibers to plump my spindly pathetic lashes up, but also conditions, and apparently contains an ingredient called LashMaximiser (tm), heh, which is frankly a ridiculously bland name to make up frankly, and trust old hyaluronic acid, to moisturise and prevent breakage and brittle falling lashes.

My lashes have definitely got better over the years of using this, although they're not longer, but they are stronger, and the effects of two coats of this, left to dry, before applying whatever my current mascara favourite of the month is, results in pretty spectacular lashes in comparison to my normal pathetic smattering of stubby eye hairs. 

So, I heartily recommend if you're without natural lashes, and cannot be arsed to apply serums morning and night that might turn your eyeballs yellow, go and purchase this rather pricey, but super worth it primer.

It's fantastique! 

You can pick this up from Boots, Debenhams, House of Fraser and John Lewis for approximately £24.50

REVIEW: Hourglass Veil Mineral Primer

Hourglass Veil Mineral Primer

As a girl with long wear foundation needs, very oily skin, and uneven skintone, who doesn't enjoy the idea of wearing super matte foundations, I was an early adopter of the use of primers. I see many people going on about how unnecessary they are, and I cannot speak for other people, but without a primer, my make up swims around my face within a couple of hours, powder or no powder. Therefore i've tried and tested A LOT of primers over the past 15 or so years. When this product was brought to market a few years ago, with it's ridiculously high price tag, I was obsessed with owning it, and one day, whilst feeling fruity and wanting to reassure that ladies in Liberty that despite my scruffy appearance, I did actually deserve to be in there and I COULD afford stuff (read: I couldn't afford stuff, but like to look like I can, DAMN THEIR PRETTY GLOWING FACES) so I bought this, and my god I am glad I ruddy did.

They say this.....

A mineral-based, water-resistant primer with SPF 15 that creates an impossibly smooth canvas and seamless look.

Veil eliminates redness, minimizes pore size, softens fine lines and creates a uniform canvas for a flawless makeup application. This clean, satin-finish formula helps keep makeup looking fresh and prevents fading, while SPF 15 shields the skin from the sun.

I say this.... 

They tell no lies, every single word of that blurb is absolutely true. The texture of this white potion is extremely light, and it soaks into your skin immediately, shrinking your pores right down, taking down redness, evening tone and leaving you with a smooth base with plenty of slip to apply make up over. The most ingenius thing is the fact that not only is it water resistant, but it also makes whatever product you place on top water resistant too, which is great for hot weather or gigs or clubbing etc. I cannot say enough good about it, especially it's oil control. The downside, inevitably, is the price. At £52 per bottle, it's not a purchase you can lightly step into, and due to this, I only wear this for gigs I play, or long days at festivals or going somewhere special, otherwise the thought of the amount i'd have to spend to keep replacing this is panic inducing.


I highly HIGHLY recommend you pick this up, and if you're scared of the outlay, there is a mini 20ml version available at a more accessible price of £20.

Holy grail y'all.

If you want to purchase this you can get the mini version here from Liberty london, and the standard size here from Space NK for £52.

PERSONAL POST: Being a girl....

I am a rubbish girl. I know i'm not the only one, because I have awesome friends who are also rubbish girls, but if i'm honest, when i'm around women, I always feel inadequate in the extreme. I had a rather tumultuous upbringing, where stuff such as learning about shaving, eyebrows, boobs and periods weren't particularly on the agenda, I was lucky if I had a bed to sleep in, so I had to wing it as far as learning how to be a lady goes....

So these are things i've currently never ever done

• Waxed anything - Seriously, nothing, ever, I have seen it on tv and it looks painful though.
• Had a manicure  - When my nails get too long I just rip them off, rank I know.
• Had a pedicure - Surely life is too short and money too sparse to waste on that...
• My bikini line - it doesn't poke out my tiniest of pants, and I can't swim so, I don't bother.
• Spray Tan - I have tried cheap gradual tans. I'm crap at them. Crap. 
• Sunbed - When vanity carries a danger of skin cancer, you really need to sort your shit out.
• Massage - I did have one once for free. I felt too awkward to relax because I was worried for the poor person having to touch a person they didn't know for money. Yes I have issues. 
• Facial - I had one once, again, I felt guilty of the time being spent on me, and it gave me tons of spots.
• Used tampons - I know! I used one once and passed out, at 13, so never touched them again.
• Matching underwear - I have never bought a set, and only recently did I buy a vaguely fancy bra. Some of my knickers i've had since 96 at least. I just don't have that part to me that feels that I have to wear fancy pants, makes me feel like a beef joint wrapped in string. 

So there's my list. That is how crap I am. I can't be alone surely. My mates tell me tales of unshaved legs, hairs on boobs they don't bother getting rid of, farting during sex.....so it's not just me that is crap at being a woman, but....I look out, wide eyed and scared at the world, and I feel like an alien against all other women.

I hope it's not just me.....there must be others! 

REVIEW: YSL LE TEINT ENCRE DE PEAU FUSION INK FOUNDATION REVIEW - SHADE BR20

I am a massive sucker for a clever marketing campaign, and when I heard that YSL were releasing a lightweight, yet high coverage foundation, that had the lasting power of Estee Lauder Doublewear, yet the lightness of Giorgio Armani Maestro foundation, and that there was some mythical crazy waiting list for this stuff, I was obsessed. Like I always am. First up, let me say, whatever waiting list the marketing guys talked about, there was zero wait for this in my part of london. I actually got it early, and no one else had bought it, or was on any sort of list. As Public Enemy say, don't believe the hype. Not calling YSL liars of course, but there's some damn creative marketing talk at work here!

YSL Fusion Ink Foundation - BR20

So what else do they say about this foundation that makes it such a jizz-worthy marketing talk dreamboat....

What it is:

A revolutionary, fine-as-ink foundation with broad spectrum SPF 18 that perfects the skin while it wears weightlessly for 24 hours. 

What it does:

Get all-day comfort, broad spectrum sun protection, and a soft-matte finish with this featherweight foundation that suits every skin type. Its innovative hybrid stain technology provides a lightweight yet high-coverage formula, and its exclusive extendable polymers offer buildable coverage that lasts for a flawless finish. 

Special sweat and sebum-controlling agents allow for 24-hour of coverage—even through humidity or heat, and its sensorial and volatile dry oil complex allows it to set in seconds. Formulated with pure-micro-coated pigments, it delivers lasting, radiant color, and the face-zoning applicator allows you to perfectly apply it to the face for precise, easy-to-use application that’s never cakey or heavy.

So what do I say....

Well....here's the thing. When I was testing this, I had one other foundation in mind, in regards to the claims made by this foundation, and that was Estee Lauder Doublewear. The reason is, Doublewear is used by thousands of women as their holy grail. Personally I dislike it hugely, as the finish is somewhere close to corpse paint, totally flat, lacking in dimension, and just....unreal. Saying that, it's a fantastic formula, as this foundation has taken me through dj gigs and sweaty concerts and festivals from morning till night, and it sticks like glue and you can rely on it like no other foundation that claims to be lasting. Swings and roundabouts.....so to speak.

So does YSL Fusion Ink match up longevity wise. No, it doesn't, it will rub off, there will be elements of wear that become apparent as your day goes on, because ultimately, the two foundations are hugely different beasts.

Fusion Ink is a lovely foundation, but it's not a substitute for the major coverage and longevity of Doublewear, so don't expect the same. It is a very thin formula, and it dries in seconds, but provides a very decent level of coverage in one layer. If you need more coverage in places, just dab the wand over those areas and work the foundation in using a buffing brush in circular motions. I have tried with and without primer and I would say, if you are oily like me, you do need to use primer, because it keeps off the shine that does eventually break through, and will, if you rub your nose or blow it, transfer and wear off. However, if you get caught in a shower or sweat, and don't rub your face, this stuff stays put quite wonderfully, and unlike doublewear, you have a velvety matte finish that has an ethereal glow, blurs imperfections quite successfully and does last, even if you might need a little touch up with powder towards the end of the day.

So, it's good, it's great, but it's not perfect and it's not infallible, but what it does bring is a very decent coverage, a light as air feel, and a beautiful matte finish that lasts longer than your average matte foundation. I recommend you take advantage of their seven day free trial to see whether you like it or not, given that it's an expensive item at £30, you want to know you're not just doing what I do, which is get blinded by the flashing lights of 'NEW ITEM!!! BEST THING EVER!!! YOU WILL LOOK LIKE CARA IN MINUTES!!!' then go home and cry yourself to sleep because you can't pay your rent.

This does happen. Every month. I rule.

YSL Fusion Ink Foundation - BR 20 - Swatch and blended

So there it is on my arm. Yes the photos is blurry and crappy, but you don't come here for my obsessive efforts at being the worlds best blogger i'd wager. I like to think of myself as the John Bender of the blogging world, as in, I pretend I don't care, but I obviously do, but that still doesn't mean I give a toss enough to buy a camera. 

The Breakfast Club - Bender = AMAZE

You will notice in the swatch, btw, that BR20, which is the palest of all the Beige Rose shades, is a bit dark. I tried B10, and looked alarmingly yellow, whereas Beige Rose, is less yellow, but leans A LOT more yellow than my YSL Teint Touch Eclat foundation, which is a perfect match, but crap on my skin. Honestly, total crap, I look like i've been rubbing sunflower oil on my face. Nil points! This though, it does a pretty great job, and although it won't fix a broken heart, it goes some way to making you look less you've been crying all night....

*sadface*

If you'd like to be part of the YSL Fusion Ink party, you can pick it up direct from YSL here , or House of Fraser, Boots or Debenhams for £30.50.

REVIEW: Pretty Zombie Cosmetics liquid lipstick - 3 Witches

Hiyathere.

So, if youv'e followed this blog at all you'll know i'm a big fan of the whole stupidly coloured matte liquid lipstick that lasts aaaaages, so when I heard of Pretty Zombie Cosmetics, as i've detailed in my review of Blue Moon, I was very much sold on the idea of these lipsticks and owning the entire range. This is the second one i've got hold of, and god bless it's purple bum. I LOVE IT.

Pretty Zombie Liquid Lipstick - 3 Witches

The other side, cause it's cool etc....

So, it doesn't claim to be smudge or budgeproof, but let me tell you, it's basically holds up just as well as the Stila Stay All Day range, which for the price point, although not bargain basement, you can't moan at too much. I love the shade, it's a cool, dark, vibrant purple. It goes on light and very liquidy, much like the Lime Crime Velvetines, and then dries to a completely opaque, in one swipe, rich colour and it's completely matte, which oddly, many matte lipsticks don't deliver on. 

Saying that, it doesn't last ALL night, and if you go on a snogging session, you're going to end up with a smudgy purple face. Also, it's really tough to remove and it does stain, so the day after you wear this, you either have to expect to have a smattering of discoloured dots on your lips, to wear a super opaque shade on top, or to exfoliate your lips to soreness. It really sticks. REALLY STICKS.

3 Witches - Swatch. 

I have tested this to buggery, and when I test, I put it on, I go out, I dj, drink, kiss cheeks, eat unwise foods in all night restaurants and never have time to reapply. The result at the end of the night will always be an honest one, and I will say, this NEEDS re application, it will not stand up a horribly tough night, but honestly, very very few will, and this doesn't claim to last, so you can't complain really. By the end it will have worn off around the edges and have flaked. Unlike me, you'll probably be sober enough to care....

My stupid face with it on.

I was on my way out to a party with my homies from Boy London, and all the girls in that world look like kindergoth's who haven't eaten for a million years, so I decided to go a little goth for the night. I used Mac Pro Wear Lipliner in More To Love to amp up the pink tones in the purple, and the rest of the make up, if you're interested, is Illamasqua Precision Gel Liner (LASTS FOREVER WITH PRIMER), on top of Nars Smudgeproof Eyeshadow Base, Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Pomade in Chocolate, DJV beautenizer volume mascara, my beloved Freckle Pencil from Topshop in Forever Young, Hourglass Ambient Lighting Blush in Dim Infusion and Make Up Atelier HD Airbrush Foundation.

If you want to dive in to the world of Pretty Zombie Cosmetics, you can get them in the UK from Cute Cosmetics for the pretty reasonable price of £13.50 - HERE

REVIEW: Topshop Freckle Pencil - Forever young

Topshop Freckle Pencil in Forever Young

Now, i'm a bit of an odd one, for some reason, I tend to get obsessed with something, and a couple of years later, it becomes a big mainstream fashion. Thus I feel fed up, because i've spent a load of cash trying to find the item and own it, which means I buy about ten different versions that aren't up to the standard I want, and then when it's a high street hitter, I hate it because I realise i'm just so ruddy mainstream. 

So i've been faking freckles for about four years. I decided it was my raison detre, as my natural freckles have been bleached out from all my obsessive skin evening skincare from my late teens (read, borrowing my mates dodgy skin bleach and causing all sorts of awful). So yes, I have been desiring my 90's freckles back, and STAT. 

So I heard that Topshop were on that idea finally, and they have produced this WONDER, the freckle pencil. Now, I hear you cry, that you could just buy a brown kohl and be done with it, but trust me, i've tried, that stuff smears, or it's so hard to get it to make a mark on your face that you end up with massive great dots everywhere. The option i'd taken for the last few years has been using a Gosh Long Lasting Eyebrow Marker to lightly dot, and it's a good option, but not particularly realistic, even if it's lasts. When I heard topshop were releasing this I counted the days. It's ruddy summer, I WANT FRECKLES. 

Topshop Freckle Pencil

So as you can see above, i've given you a line, for colour, and a spattering of freckle like dots, and as you can see how freckle like they are, and hey, they pretty much ARE. Now, here I am, being brave again, showing my face, but I wanted to show how they look on a human face, no matter how MOON FACED I am, it's the effect, not the aesthetics of my genetics y'all....

Me, with freckle

So what you need to remember is pigment in your face caused by sun isn't uniform, so when you do these freckles, you need to be random as you can. The freckle pencil has the genius of being marbled, so it's a mix of two browns, like freckles generally are. The pencil, although long lasting once set, is also really emollient do the lightest touch can give the faintest of freckles. Other tips would be, make sure your base isn't too full coverage, as if it is, you'll end up looking a little pantomime, which isn't the aim, well, i'd assume. 

You can pick this pencil up from Topshop online for a mere £5.00. 

REVIEW: Pretty Zombie Cosmetics Liquid Lipstick - Blue Moon

Pretty Zombie Cosmetics Liquid Lipstick in Blue Moon

Pretty Zombie Cosmetics are an independent manufacturer of beautiful products, who have apparently been in existence since 2008. I happened upon them on one of my usual matte liquid lipstick searches, which I do more than I care to admit, so rampant is my obsession, and I found this company, with a fantastically unconventional range of shades to please the most obscure cosmetics lover.

So I searched around like a madwoman and eventually found a uk stockist, in the form of a personal favourite web store Cute Cosmetics, which stocks vegan and cruelty free brands exclusively, which is obviously awesome. I snapped up Blue Moon, and thus, I have my new favourite lipstick....

Packaging. Yay etc!

So what's good about it. Well, it's another completely MATTE as hell lipstick. Properly matte, no pretendy matte, and no wimpy formula. This is full coverage in one swipe, it dries down, and that stuff is NOT leaving without some extreme encouragement and scrubbing. Whether this is good or bad depends on how lacking in patience you have. Frankly i'm willing to deal with it for some a cool shade. It's not perfect, it does crumble reasonably quickly if you eat and drink, BUT, one joy that you don't have with other brands, like Maybelline 24 hour bold matte, or Sleek Matte Me, is you can reapply to the crumbled bits and it looks fine, not lumpy and rubbish. I would suggest you give your lips a good moisturise, and an exfoliate, because this isn't the most forgiving formula, but who cares, YOU HAVE BLUE LIPS MOFO!

Blue Moon Swatched

This is me. Yep, i've finally posted my ugly mug.

Before I get reams of abuse, I know i'm not blessed looks wise so you don't need to tell me i'm ugly. So many bloggers get abuse and they're heroes for dealing with it. I'm not a massive fan of being put down right now but I wanted to show the lipstick as a wearable thing. My hair is all washed out because I had a big allergic reaction to my hair dye and i've put on quite a bit of weight since I went through a bereavement and break up. Again, i'm aware!

If you want to get involved and purchase any of these beautiful shades, they are available at Cute Cosmetics for £13.50

REVIEW: DOVE Purely Pampering Nourishing Body Oil Shea Butter & Warm Vanilla

Dove Purely Pampering Nourishing Body Oil

Like a moth to a really hot scalding lightbulb, the second I see something I don't recognise on the shelves of boots or superdrug, I bound over and decide I cannot live without it for a second longer. Yesterday I came across this and as i've run out of my usual body oil from asda, I decided to give myself a little bit of summer shimmer. I've been slapping on some cheap fake tans of recent, so I have a tiny bit of colour to my skin (trust me, it's truly pathetic compared to everyone else on the streets) so I thought I might look a little better with some sheen, as for some reason, despite all the moisturising I do, my skin is always dry. So. Yes. Lets talk oil etc.

They say....

The light shimmer formula and deliciously long lasting scent gives you an irresistible glow which you’ll be desperate to show off.

Shea butter is rich in essential fatty acids (Linoleic acid) which are known to soothe and nourish the skin, helping it to repair itself.

In addition to this, it contains Sunflower seed oil to improve skin hydration by improving the quality of your skin. The nurturing ingredients mean that your skin receives long lasting care, leaving it looking and feeling beautifully soft.

I say....

I like it! It smells delicious, like a lovely biscuit, and it lives up to it's non greasy claims. Okay, it takes a little while to soak in, it's not a 'dry oil' so don't expect to slap it on and it evaporate in seconds, but its a very small amount of time, and it does give the skin a beautiful golden sheen, without looking like you're doused in baby oil a la Jodie Marsh. Your skin will feel nourished, smell gorgeous, and moisturised and comfortable. There's nothing negative I can say about this particularly. It's reasonably priced, works well and gives you a healthy glow. Lovely!

My glowy oiled arm. Smelling like summer and biscuits.

You can pick this up at Boots for £8.99

MEGA SUPER VOLUMISER, DRY SHAMPOO AND BACKCOMB SPRAY REVIEW pt 2 (high end and budget)

Hi there you.

So as promised, I am following up my MEGA SUPER DRY SHAMPOO SPRAY REVIEW, which was an overview of all the budget dry shampoo sprays for flat, fine and oily hair, primarily with a view to giving volume above any other benefit, with a run down of high end sprays, and backcomb fakers, which give the ultimate volume and hold too (budget and high end).

REDKEN PILLOW PROOF TWO MORE DAYS STYLE EXTENDER

They say....

Transforms hair from day-old to amazing. Hair powder absorbs oil, extends the life of blow-dries, and instantly refresh hair. Corrects product over-use too. Go from a worn-out blow-dry to refreshed, full-bodied matte texture.

I say....

I was seduced into buying this after my experiences with Pillow Proof Blow Dry Express Primer which I will review in due course. I have to say, for the price, there isn't really enough results from this product to justify the price that I have spent on it. I figured because it seems to be permanently out of stock that this would cure all ills in my hair world, but actually, it's pretty much just a dry shampoo like many others. It doesn't give a ton of volume, but it does happily neutralise any smells in your hair, and there is the nifty feature that if you've put top much oil, or serum, or any other product in your hair, this will help normalise the textures and stop you having to wash your hair again. 

Conclusion

If you're flush for cash, I would recommend picking this up as it does outperform your average pharmacy dry shampoo, just for the balancing of your hair from too much product use (we've all done it!), however, if like me, you're not, you'll be just as happy with something like Aussie or Vo5 for less than half the price.

You can purchase this from Look Fantastic for £11.95

SEBASTIAN PROFESSIONAL DRYNAMIC DRY SHAMPOO

They say....

Sebastian Professional Drynamic Dry Shampoo (212ml) will refresh your hair and revive your style in one simple step. Formulated with Recharge Technology, it will improve manageability and ease of styling, whilst enhancing body, volume and texture. It's the perfect product for keeping your hair in pristine condition from morning until night.

I say....

I love Sebastian Professional products. I'd say apart from Keratase, they are my ultimate product crush and trust in them completely, so when I say they'd released a dry, volume building shampoo, I had to snap it up. According to Sebastian themselves, the key element that makes this dry shampoo a winner amongst others is that its particles are spherical as opposed to square, so they sit together more comfortably and make hair easier to restyle at will. I'm not an expert on particles, but I will say that when I go out, this is the dry shampoo I stick in my make up bag in its travel size, as when I go out and sweat, and my hair gets flat and crappy, this leaves no white marks, and whips up dirt and enables me to reboost my style without creating a scaggy feeling scalp. 

Conclusion

Although pricey at full size, this is also available in a travel size which makes it far more accessible to the less affluent of us (i.e. ME) and it does perform, for a dry shampoo, exceptionally well at making hair look full of life after a night on the tiles. 

You can purchase this in travel size for £8.40 from Lookfantastic.

BUMBLE AND BUMBLE THICKENING DRYSPUN FINISH

They say....

Translucent dry spray creates instant fullness and texture to spin hair into an airy silhouette.

I say....

I read rave reviews about this, so I desperately wanted to try it, but it's not cheap, so after some weeks of ebay raking, I found a partially used bottle for £12.00 so decided to take the plunge. My hair is a complicated thing, naturally, it's very dark brown, poker straight, but easily kinked and is super thin, and super flat, and oily at the roots. Add onto this that I bleach it white, then dye is blue, it's in ravaged condition, and on top of this, I have extensions which are coming to the end of their blissful existence so my hair can look a hot mess if I don't tend to it. Now, I have also read bad reviews of this, but they tend to be from people who just haven't got a clue what they're using. This is a spray to FINISH your hair, not to pick it up when it's a greasy sludge. I spend most of my time wishing I was Alison Mosshart, with the big, messy in a good way, mop of hair.

Alison Mosshart - at some point in the past

And this is basically what the spray does, is gives you separation, mess, but not frizz, oomph, and a general 'dryspun' look, so matte, a thick texture but not HUGE, and dare I say it, and I hate to say it because it sounds crap, a 'rock chick' kind of undone goodness. However, as with these kind of sprays, your hair will feel pretty gritty the next day, and spraying more won't make it better unless you're going for a full on Jesus and Mary Chain type crown of gunk....

JAMC - A long time ago

As a side note btw, i've had my hair done by their (JAMC's) hairdresser. He works in Toni and Guy Academy in New Oxford Street and he's AWESOME. 

Conclusion

Use this for what it's intended for, and you won't be disappointed. It gives you unkempt, bohemian hair, but the price is the only downside, as it is quite expensive. 

You can purchase this from Look Fantastic or direct from Bumble and Bumble for £21.50

ORIBE THICK DRY FINISHING SPRAY

They say....

Plump up the volume with this high-density finishing spray that inflates hair for extra thickness and lushness. Oribe's secret for hair that is big, beautiful, beyond luxurious.

Key Benefits:

Creates voluptuous, bombshell hair
Adds density and dry hold without stickiness
Thickens by swelling the hair shaft from roots to ends
Lightweight moisturizers prevent hair from looking dry and dull
Formulated without parabens or sodium chloride.
Colour and keratin treatment safe.
UV protection for hair.

I say....

Ladies and gents, welcome to getting your bank account ABUSED. This stuff is PRICEY, I mean, super duper pricey. I treated myself to this on my birthday, and as I walked away from Space NK, I nearly burst into tears realising i'd spent EVERYTHING and therefore wasn't going to have quite as fancy a week as i'd planned. FOR HAIRSPRAY.

However, may I also welcome you to a new experience in hair. Oribe, as a brand, is luxe, and everything about them, kind of, makes the price tag feel worthwhile. The packaging looks good, the promises are delivered and the ingredients sumptuous. This spray is available in two formats. Dry finishing, and THICK dry. I obviously went for the thick and I am so so glad I did. People tend to say that this and the Bumble and Bumble are the same. I would have to disagree. Whereas B&B gives me a fluffy, purposefully flyaway look, this gives me hair that I never DREAMED could be on my head. Again, this isn't a hair pick me up, this is a finishing spray, and it finishes you like a mofo. 

I wash and blowdry my hair, with my far too many potions, straighten it, and then I grab this and lift sections at the root and spray. I then tip my head upsidedown and spray again. I then blast it with the hairdryer, as instructed, and what you are left with is hair like a QUEEN. I mean, your hair will be HUGE, but not frizzy, not messy, just HUGE. It also doesn't feel disgusting the next day, instead it feels easy to style as it has grip. I honestly cannot recommend this enough. It does everything i'd want a product too. Sadly it's so expensive that I only use it when i'm going somewhere, as looking that great comes at too high a price for my purse. Sadface.

Conclusion

A worthy investment item, that up until this point, I haven't found anything that comes even close to competing results wise. 

You can purchase Oribe from Space NK for £36.00, or less, if you can find the mythical yet NEVER STOCKED travel size, detailed here

BIG SEXY HAIR WHAT A TEASE BACKCOMB IN A BOTTLE

They say....

What it does: An instant teasing spray, this specialised formula gives hair massive height that's easy to shape and style.

- Provides ultra-hip height

- Delivers a medium-firm hold

- Contains expanding ingredients

Tip: Can be used on all hair types for a modern, teased look. Mist into hair, focusing on ends. Lightly work throughout hair, using your hands to separate and expand the shape.

I say....

It sounds good doesn't it, and this, as far as I know, was one of the first backcomb without the damage products on the market, and I snapped it up about six years ago. However, as much as I was enamoured with it then, the fact that it's the same formula that hasn't been updated, has left me, well, not very enamoured now. It says to focus on the ends, and lightly mist through hair. I would NEVER recommend that. It does give you a backcombed hold, yes, but it's like glue, actual glue, and this type of product is available cheaper, less aggressive, and more easily obtainable from your local drugstore. Therefore, I do not recommend.

Conclusion

Yes, it will make your hair stand up all night, and yes, it's like wallpaper paste in longevity, but there are better, and cheaper options. 

You can purchase this, if you're so inclined, from feelunique for £15.25

VO5 DRY BACKCOMBING SPRAY

They say....

dry backcombing spray with collagen, for hair that is big in all the right places

Want big hair but worried about the damage caused by backcombing? This dry spray instantly gives fullnes for amazing volume, minus the damage! It adds grip so your big hair stays plumped for longer, and can also be used as a "pick me up" style re-activator.

I say....

I LOVE THIS STUFF. Serious y'all. I love it. The only reason I tried it was I mistakenly picked it up thinking it was the body boosting dry shampoo version, and when I got home I was a little taken aback at the strength of the root boost, before realising it was a backcomb spray. I use this when I want to create a crazy Janic from The Real Ghostbusters type fringe with a ponytail......

Janice off of The Real Ghostbusters.

Yeah, I know, she's a cartoon. However if you've been reading this blog for any length of time you'll know my entire aim is to look like one. 

So, yes, if you use this you will have to wash your hair in the next two days, as it's a super duper strong spray that creates mega hold volume. However, unlike big sexy hair, it's cheap, and you can touch your hair without your fingers sticking to it. All I do is lift sections of my hair I want volume in, spritz a little, hold it until it dries off, and it just STAYS.

Conclusion

A great budget product that does exactly as it says, lasts all night and doesn't break the bank

You can purchase Vo5 dry backcombing spray from Boots for £3.79

UMBERTO GIANNINI GLAM HAIR BACKCOMB IN A BOTTLE

They say....

Umberto Giannini Glam Hair Backcomb In A Bottle is the MUST-HAVE product to achieve full on glamour and up-do’s without wrecking your hair with backcombing.

I say....

Again, I LOVE THIS STUFF. I first bought this in a little travel size on the way out for the night when my hair felt like a pile of rubbish and needed some oomph. I popped into the toilets of waterloo train station, spritzed this at the roots and ba da bing! VOLUME A GO GO! Again, like the Vo5, all you need to do is spray, push into shape and once it dries, this stuff stays put. You can achieve huge volume at the roots with this, although I wouldn't recommend putting it anywhere else, as it'll not really give you many benefits if you do that. The point of this is to lift and stay, and thats what it does. 

Conclusion

This product is available in two sizes, and if you're umming and ahhing about it, i'd suggest treating yourself to the travel sized version. I have carried a bottle of this in travel size around for four years now and I don't plan on stopping. It does exactly what you want it to do, and it's cheap, readily available (if you have access to boots that is) and makes you BIG.

You can purchase this at Boots for £6.00 full size and £1.99 travel size.

Thanks for reading! Hope this has been useful to you lank haired ladies. 

THE MEGA SUPER DRY SHAMPOO SPRAY REVIEW for limp, greasy, flat haired humans (budget brands)

Hi there humans!

One of the bane's of my life has always been my hair. It's thin, it's flat, it's straighter than straight, and cannot hold a style for any length of time. Throughout my life I have spent HOURS and much moneys on trying to get it pouffy and luxurious, and the struggle has felt for many years like a thankless battle. In the 90's there was a great shampoo that was sold in Superdrug that I cannot remember the name of, but it basically turned your hair into wool, but really thick, easily styled hair that needed no product. AT ALL. My dreams came real, until they stopped making it. Next, it was Batiste as my nan had tons of cans of it in her pharmacy-like bathroom cupboards (I cannot possibly describe how weird my nans hoarding was when it came to new products, but I myself have carried on this tradition to the horror of my purse strings and the people around me). Anyway, in the mid to late 2000's, dry shampoos started morphing and multiplying into uber mega dry shampoos, and me, well, my job seems to have been to buy THEM ALL FOREVER FROM EVERYWHERE.

So i'm here to help. With dry shampoo choices that is. Warning, this post will be freaking HUGE.

First up.....

CHARLES WORTHINGTON STYLE SETTER DRY SHAMPOO

They say....

The ultimate styling products keep every strand in its place without losing any of the hair’s natural beauty and movement. Impossible? Not with this professionally formulated collection that has been designed to deliver optimum hold and texture on all hair types, ensuring maximum, red-carpet glamour all day, every day. And, to match the high-end style, the products all boast a high-end fragrance, composed of a subtle blend of green apple blossom, daisy and violet, with white cedar and musk.

Infused with Sweet Blue Lupin Peptide, this dry shampoo absorbs oil to freshen up your hair and revitalise your look.

I say....

I bought this as it promises hair healing qualities as WELL as sucking up your oily ways, and imbibing a lovely scent into your hair. It also promises hold which is useful when you want to go out of a night and not be pouffing up your style in the bathroom every five minutes.

To make this a less painful read, i'm going to give each feature a mark of out ten across the breadth of sprays I regularly use.

Volume created: 5

Hold: 4

Fragrance: 8

Lack of powdery appearance: 8

Lack of gritty feel: 7

Price: 9

Overall: 6

Conclusion

I appreciate very much the conditioning benefits this product boasts, but in all honesty, the actual purpose of this product is to make my hair big. It doesn't really do that, and it doesn't hold particularly well on my head. It does do a good job of making hair feel fresh and clean, which is the main goal of a dry shampoo, obviously, but for the purpose that i'm using it for, this isn't a winner. However if you want your hair smelling fresh and grease free, this is a good, cheap option. 

You can buy this direct from Charles worthington for £5.99

UMBERTO GIANNINI GLAM HAIR MORNING AFTER DRY SHAMPOO

They say....

Umberto Giannini Glam Hair Morning After Dry Shampoo revives and refreshes lank, lifeless hair and gives that second day feeling that keeps hair perky and poised all day.

I say....

They're short and sweet, and this range is aimed at a youthful 'undone' kind of market, and I do enjoy the packaging, as it does feel like it's made for a party girl, and despite my age, that's what I am mofo. It's cheap, and it's cheerful, and not only does it come in 200ml size, it comes in a handbag happy mini size which you can chuck in your make up bag and use to give yourself a literal, morning after perk up in whoever's bathroom you've woken up near. You know what the biggest HOOPLA about this product, it's the fact that no matter how badly you apply this stuff, there are ZERO white marks. NONE. This is a big plus mark for girls who don't have 360 degree mirror vision in their house, because I have gone out before with a ridiculous white splodge on the back of my head. 

Volume created: 6

Hold: 5

Fragrance: 5

Lack of powdery appearance: 10

Lack of gritty feel: 8

Price: 9

Overall: 6

Conclusion

This is a great budget product, the no white marks at all give it bonus points as it's a rarity in these type of products. It absolutely works for the grease busting thing, and the smell is pleasant, if a tiny bit musty, in a 'i'm wearing vintage clothes and the smell is in my hair a bit so i'm trying to cover it up' way, if you can imagine that. I think that is kind of what they're going for here so....thats okay. There isn't a massive whomp of volume, but a good amount, and it's an all round good performer for the price.

You can purchase this from Boots for £6.00

ALBERTO VO5 PLUMP IT UP DRY SHAMPOO

They say....

This dry shampoo has been developed with collagen to give instant body to tired, lifeless hair & banish greasy roots.

Boost body & grip whilst refreshing your style

For fine, flat or oily hair

I say....

DRUM ROLLLL! This is one of my FAVOURITE budget dry shampoos. I love it. I LOVE IT. It doesn't matter how many others I buy, I keep coming back to this one and discarding the rest in favour of this (however the new aussie one is competing, stay TUNED with your EYES). This beast though, this lovely beast, it gives mega volume, it literally does plump everything up to a good healthy volume with minimal white marks. It keeps the volume for a reasonable amount of time as long as you're not sweating and dancing, it smells inoffensive, and it is a BARGAIN. Bear in mind there are two types you need to purchase the one for flat, fine and oily hair. 

Volume created: 8

Hold: 7

Fragrance: 6

Lack of powdery appearance: 7

Lack of gritty feel: 7

Price: 9

Overall: 8.5

Conclusion

This is a great budget dry shampoo that does exactly what it promises and for a bargain price. I recommend picking this up if you suffer from lank locks. It gives you volume, pliability and grip aplenty! 

Available in Boots and Superdrug for £3.59

FUDGE URBAN CRISP PEAR AND SWEET VANILLA DRY SHAMPOO

They say....

Revitalises locks when you’re short on time. Hit the roots & brush through to remove powder. Special micro powders get rid of dirt and oils. Boost & refresh your style on the move.

Spray on roots then blast excess away with a dryer for a fresh feel when you’re short on time. Spray all over glossy hair & brush through to give a matte finish.

I say....

So fresh and new there's barely anything about this on the internet yet, even on Fudge Urban's own website. However I spotted this in my local Boots and i'm a sucker for the Fudge Urban range, due to it smelling super sweet, having awesome packaging (I am a simple soul, I am attracted to shiny things), and being aimed a market who like to express themselves and achieve more outlandish styles whilst being friendly on your purse....so basically, teenagers, but sod it, i'm 35 but i'm 18 in my head....and, er, a little bit outside given the amount I get ID'd buying alcohol. Now, this doesn't give you much in the way of volume, but it doesn't claim to. However, it DOES whip the oily muck out of your hair, and does not leave white powdery marks, and it smells FANTASTIC, so if you suffer from second day oily scalp mustiness, this is a lovely thing to pop in your bag to make you feel fresh again. I really do recommend it, and it's CHEAP.

Volume created: 4

Hold: 4

Fragrance: 9

Lack of powdery appearance: 7

Lack of gritty feel: 7

Price: 8

Overall: 7

Conclusion

I would recommend this for the purposes of actual mucky hair as opposed to making it big. You can spray this on your pulled back into a ponytail hair and it transforms the grease into matte clean looking hair, and gives your hair grip and a little bulk to style with. It smells nice, and it does what it claims. 

You can purchase this from Superdrug or at Boots where it's currently on offer for £3.99 as opposed to the usual £5.00

AUSSIE AUSSOME VOLUME MIRACLE DRY SHAMPOO

They say....

Low on volume? Short of time? Meet the next big thing. No shower necessary. A quick blast from Aussie Aussome Volume Miracle Dry Shampoo cleanses from the root for an instant boost of volume and texture (and incredible fragrance!). It is the quick fix for a between-wash burst of volume!

It contains Jojoba Seed Extract that was used for centuries by the indigenous Australians as it was believed to naturally condition hair.

I say....

DING DING DING DING JACKPOT!!!! We have another winner in our midst. Again, extremely new on the shelves, I picked this up when I was replacing yet ANOTHER Aussie Aussome Volume Deep Treatment Mousse Light (here's a little tip for you, if you want to spend four quid on a product that you use once, which then explodes in your shower, you replace, and it repeats the same behaviour, then go buy that, if not, don't bother), and I saw this cheeky new stranger, sat on the shelves promising VOLUME and CONTROL, whilst also doing all the other stuff that dry shampoos do, AND smelling nice. I was sold! 

Now, I dye my hair blue, and it's bleached, but recently I had a major allergic reaction to hair dye and until I know what i'm allergic to, I can't dye it, so it's currently a very washed out greeny bluey yellow mess. Therefore I don't want to wash it much, so I got in and used this on my five day old greasy flat mop. IT WORKED LIKE A DREAM. Seriously, it gave a very impressive boost of volume, no white marks, and my hair smelt as new as five day old hair could hope to. I WAS IMPRESSED. So much so I even went clubbing and didn't feel self conscious at all (I never go partying without washing my hair ever usually). My hair didn't look dirty or gritty, just fashionably texturised. 

Volume created: 8

Hold: 8

Fragrance: 8

Lack of powdery appearance: 8

Lack of gritty feel: 8

Price: 8

Overall: 9

Conclusion

 I highly highly recommend this to you, I actually would say go buy both this AND the Vo5 offering, and see which you like best, because it's hard to pick between them. However, this is pretty darn amazing and does exactly as it promises and more. 

You can buy this from Boots or Superdrug for £4.49

BATISTE DRY SHAMPOO XXL VOLUME - BIG AND BOUNCY

They say....

Batiste Dry Shampoo Big and Bouncy XXL Volume revitalises hair, banishes oily roots and gives you so much body and texture, your Up-Do takes no time.

A quick burst with our unique formula gives dull, lifeless hair the volumising makeover it needs. No water and no backcombing - just big-style glamour and a great clean, fresh feeling. No need to worry about skipping a shampoo.

I say....

Some people love this. I am not one of them. If I wore updo's, then I imagine I might really like it, but alas, I used this three times before tossing it into the bin yelling 'BE GONE THY DEMON'.  It made my hair feel DISGUSTING. Honestly, I couldn't get my fingers in my hair, and once I started getting a bit sweaty (as is my wont), oh my goodness, it was REPULSIVE. My roots turned into a vicious sludge, I was itching, and my hair did NOT look nice. If you're into the whole rockabilly thing, I reckon you'll adore this, but me, I was offended by it. Yes, batiste hurt my feelings. Big time. 

Volume created: 8

Hold: 8

Fragrance: 8

Lack of powdery appearance: 3

Lack of gritty feel: 1

Price: 7

Overall: 4

If you want this muck, you'll find it at Boots for a reasonable, if you like that sort of thing, £3.99


So thats my round up of the budget brands. Stayed tuned, or whatever people do in the internets, for my high end round up of dry shampoo's PLUS low and high end backcomb sprays.

I am flat haired. Make me big. MAKE ME HUGE.

NEW: MUA Velvet Lip Lacquer - ENTIRE COLLECTION SWATCHED

MUA LUXE VELVET LIP LACQUER 

Now, I am a lover of high end make up, and have my fair share of expensive products, from Becca, to Kevyn Aucoin, to Eve Lom, Hourglass. I love luxury, despite my very empty pockets, I seem to be able to find a way to own things I really haven't the funds too. 

However, MUA, like Sleek Make Up, are one of those brands that aren't just budget, they're SUPER budget, and despite this, they keep coming up with FANTASTIC products that I opt for time and time again despite owning much pricier alternatives. The velvet lip lacquers are just one example of this. I own matte liquid lipsticks from Lancome, BITE beauty, Stila, Lime Crime and many more. However, when i'm going on a hardcore, sweaty and long night, I always opt for MUA velvet lip lacquers. They're a million times cheaper, and offer much more it seems. How can we complain!?

You may not have heard, and not even I had heard, and I am a total cosmetics geek, so I should have by now, but they have released a few new shades of lip lacquer for the summer. I found them in my local superdrug, which was a surprise given their lack of stocking ANY products that someone would potentially desire, so I snapped them up quick as a flash, and here I am to share them with you!

These are the original shades released last year....

L-R Atomic, Reckless, Funk and Kooky

L-R Kooky, Reckless, Funk and Atomic

Bottom to top - Atomic, Funk, Reckless and Kooky

And here are the NEW ones for summer! STUNNING as the old! 

L-R Criminal, Aflush, Halcyon and Tranquility

L-R Criminal, Aflush, Halcyon and Tranquility

Bottom to top - Criminal, Aflush, Halcyon and Tranquility

Firstly, please excuse my skanky arm. I have had a major allergic reaction and am covered head to toe in hives due to, what seems to be, my hair bleach that I have used on me. This sucks, because I have a full head of blue hair. I'm not sure what my options are but I am ANNOYED.

Secondly, I cannot praise these formulas enough. Not ONE other liquid lip, except for the Stila one, which is five times the price, will stand up in the same way. If you apply a lipliner that is also long wear, like the Sleek Eau La La Liner (£4.99 from boots and superdrug), then apply this on top, you will be able to get through about six hours smudge and budge free. Quite the performance no!?

So I suggest you pick these up QUICK. They always seem to be sold out, so if you find them, make them yours. They are summer and party nights in a tube!

Available from MUA online, and Superdrug exclusively for the paltry sum of £3.00.

Come, dive in, and swim in the delicious waters of MUA lip lacquer!